Emotional Manipulation Emotional manipulation usually starts out subtle, so much so that many people don’t detect a problem. As time goes on, however, the manipulator’s tacticsbecome more outright. The deal is that they need time to get you to have feelings for them, so that it is hard for you to break free. This way when they ask for another chance you will give it to them. Difficulty: Moderate Instructions 1. To spot emotional manipulation you need to be aware, which means listening and looking for manipulation tactics. When a manipulator has years of experience they use words as their weapon of choice. They know exactly what to say and how to say it to get what they want. Understand that emotional manipulators don’t care what you want. They may act as though they do, but know that they are also great actors. Many can cry on cue or act out fits of anger and not be angry at all. 2. Emotional manipulators are charming and all your friends and family will like them. He/she puts on their best impersonationof a nice person around others. They continue this facade throughout your time together. This deception is how they make you out to be the crazy one. Your feelings are your best friend. If something doesn’t feel right andyou are feeling confused then youneed to really pay close attentionto what this person is saying and doing. When their actions don’t match their words this is a bright red flag. They will say something like “Everybody makes mistakes I’m not perfect.” This is a guilt trip set updon’t buy into it! 3. Another emotional manipulation tactic is flirting’. They flirt’ right in front of you then accuse you of over reacting. Naturally, then you’re the bad guy/girl, they’re just being friendly blah blah blah. They thrive on your drama, so they find ways to push buttons. Remember, in the beginning they’re listening and watching, so they know what gets to you. You give them ammunition and they will use it! This is why you do not bare secrets early on. It’s your secretsand fears that they use to make YOU appear unstable and unreasonable. 4. Look for doubt to set in, not in them, but in you. You will start doubting your own sanity. Did I really say that? Did I really do that? Emotional manipulation is all about making a person doubt themselves. This way the manipulator is always right and always gets their way. They are in control and plan to keep it that way. The use of guilt, anger, deception, intimidation, control and power will all come into play at some point. They will also be evasive, elusive and emotionally unavailable. There is no love only lust. Sad to say, but many people mistake lust for love and fall forthis tactic head on. 5. Know that the worst part of this is that if you’re around them long enough you will becomelike them. That’s right, you become like who you’re around. How do you fight back or survive if you don’t use emotional manipulation tactics yourself? After all, manipulators don’t play fair! Many times it ends in sadness and violence; emotional baggage to carry for life unless counsel is sought. To not fall for these emotional manipulators build your self esteem and confidence, so that their behaviors are unacceptable. Beware! Mind who you give out your feelings too.


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