THIRTEEN SEX TIP FOR CHILDREN FROM PARENTS

SEX EDUCATION FOR YOUR CHILDREN
#1: Warn your girl child never to sit on anyone’s laps no matter the situation including uncles.
#2: Avoid getting dressed in front of your child once he/she is 2 years old. Learn to excuse yourself.
#3: If you have to hire a house-help, please kindly take them for HIV screening to determine their HIV status, properly interview them and make up your mind to treat them well.
#4: Never allow any adult refer to your new born as ‘my wife’ or ‘my husband’.
#5: Never tempt your husband with your younger sister. (Else he’d say its her’s and the devil’s fault)
#6: Avoid unnecessary familiarity and make sure you take care of your husband by yourself lest you lead him into temptation.
#7: Whenever your child goes out to play with friends make sure you look for a way to find out what kind of play they played together because young people now sexually abuse themselves.
#8: Never force your child to visit any adult he or she is not comfortable with and also be observant if your child becomes too fond of a particular adult.
#9: Once a very lively child suddenly becomes withdrawn you might need to patiently ask a lot of questions from your child. If you don’t teach your children
about sex, the society will teach them the wrong values.
#10: It is always advisable you go through any new Material like cartoons you just bought for them before they start seeing it themselves.
#11: Teach your 3 year old how to wash their private parts properly and warn them never to allow anyone touch those areas and that includes you (remember, charity begins at home and with you)
#12: Blacklist some materials you think could threaten the sanity of your child (that includes music, movies and musicians) and let them understand the value of standing out of the crowd.
#13: Once your child complains about a particular person, don’t keep quiet about it.
Take up the case and show them you can defend them always!

SEVEN DON’TS A WIFE SHOULD AVOID IN THE HOME.

None of these will probably lead to  Add Media divorce or anything…but they may cause a need for a temporary space barrier to be put in place.
1. Flatulence.
And don’t even try to act like you don’t do it (*side eye*). And yes, it counts even if you try to sneak a quiet one in under the covers. We all know that if those covers lift in even the slightest manner…it’s a wrap for everyone involved. And yes, this sanction was at the top of all of their lists…
2. Taking care of feminine business.
Okay ladies so if you’ve been with your husband long enough, he can probably tell you exactly when that time of the month will happen for you. But just because he knows, doesn’t mean he really wants to know. You know? Try to keep it under wraps as much as possible. And he definitely doesn’t need to be a first hand witness to it. Please don’t subject him to that.
3. Using the bathroom.
Along those lines: does he really have to be present while you are taking care of any business in the lavatory? Okay sometimes it might be inevitable. But the less he has to partake in the festivities, the happier he’ll be.
4. Wearing a hair net/bonnet/scarf.
Whatever you want to call it, chances are, he doesn’t like seeing you wear it (and my personal please: please don’t wear it out in public). Obviously, we’ve gotta keep it looking fly so getting rid of it is probably not an option. Maybe every once in a while you can change out the satin bonnet with a satin pillow case so you can just be free.
5. Letting yourself go.
I’m sure we can all relate to being really comfortable with our spouses; so much so that we tend to neglect the attention and care we put into our overall appearances that we had before we got married. So yes, a good husband is going to love you no matter how much weight you gain, or how much your wardrobe now resembles that of his grandma. But he’s secretly wanting you to get your sexy back.
6. Burping
There are just some things that are okay when a guy does them, and just unacceptable when a lady does them. And this is one of those things.
7. Shaving.
Obviously our beaus know that there are certain areas we need to shave. But it doesn’t necessarily make it okay to subject them to watching. Then again, if you’re doing it unclad they may not care one way or another so…carry on!
8. Yawning…during s*x.
I know, I know. Sometimes we are just so exhausted. But don’t let them see that. If you can’t fight it off, then turn it into a scream, a howl or just bite into a pillow.

5 THINGS WIVES WILL NEVER LET THEIR HUSBANDS KNOW.

1. We Are Very Critical of Ourselves – No matter how confident any woman seems, we can be extremely critical of ourselves. No need to mention anything about our weight, our skin, or our bad hair because we are well aware of our so-called “flaws” already. In fact, most of us obsess about these things far too frequently.
2. We Tell Our Friends Practically Everything – We might say that we don’t tell our girlfriends nearly every single detail about our lives and relationships, but we kinda do.
3. Our Weight or Dress Size – Don’t ask how much we weigh, or try to guess. And please don’t try to figure out our size and buy us clothing. If you want to buy us any clothes, take us to the shop. Thank You.
4. How Much We Spend – You really don’t want to know how much our hair, clothes and make-up cost, unless you’re paying of course, then you can know.
5. Most of us are Very Curious – Due to unfortunate past experiences or insecurities, there are some women out there who have been known to snoop through their significant other’s phones and personal mail. We’re not condoning this behaviour, but this is definitely something women don’t want men to know.

5 THINGS WIVES WILL NEVER LET THEIR HUSBANDS

1. We Are Very Critical of Ourselves – No matter how confident any woman seems, we can be extremely critical of ourselves. No need to mention anything about our weight, our skin, or our bad hair because we are well aware of our so-called “flaws” already. In fact, most of us obsess about these things far too frequently.
2. We Tell Our Friends Practically Everything – We might say that we don’t tell our girlfriends nearly every single detail about our lives and relationships, but we kinda do.
3. Our Weight or Dress Size – Don’t ask how much we weigh, or try to guess. And please don’t try to figure out our size and buy us clothing. If you want to buy us any clothes, take us to the shop. Thank You.
4. How Much We Spend – You really don’t want to know how much our hair, clothes and make-up cost, unless you’re paying of course, then you can know.
5. Most of us are Very Curious – Due to unfortunate past experiences or insecurities, there are some women out there who have been known to snoop through their significant other’s phones and personal mail. We’re not condoning this behaviour, but this is definitely something women don’t want men to know.