The following is a list of The 20 Dos and Don’ts of A Functional Relationship. It has been an effective tool and starting point for individuals and couples who are serious about creating more joy, honesty, and real intimacy in their lives. Most often clients they say this list has given them a beginning template of what a functional relationship should look like.

Hierarchy of A Functional Relationship



All relationships need to start with a base of truth. Without truth at the base of our relationship pyramid, trust cannot occur. Without this development of trust, respect will never be born. Without the essential level of respect for one another, love will never grow and nourish the partners. Intimacy occurs when we are willing to share our whole selves with one another. Intimacy is the gift we get at the top of this hierarchy when we are willing to participate and engage in a balanced relationship. A functional relationship always continues to grow and expand into a beautiful, ongoing adventure of emotional intimacy.

If you are one of those who constantly feels like you are walking on eggshells, afraid of telling your truth, you may not be participating in a functional relationship. Read the 20 do’s and don’ts and see how many apply to you.


1. Who you think you are is important. Like attracts like. Think about it. Do you like who you are?

2. What you want in a relationship is important, and when you are willing to ask for it, you will be able to create it. But only ask for what you want when you are clear about what it is. Until then, don’t go around demanding things you just think you should have.

3. We get exactly what we focus on. The problem or the solution. We make a choice between them with every decision we make.

4. Tell yourself the truth about what you want, not what others (family, friends, spouse) say you should have.

5. Tell everyone else your truth about what you want. Do not be afraid to share your vision and dreams with those you love.

6. You are not defined by your relationships unless you choose to be. Consider what it says about you if you deed over you soul to one (partner/relationship).

7. Interdependent (two independent functional people) relationships are the only ones that work, long term. (Not dependent or co-dependent)

8. Truth is the first thing necessary to create trust in our relationships. Respect is earned from trust, and love is earned from respect. Intimacy is the gift we get when we risk telling the truth. * See the hierarchy of a functional relationship

9. Fear of intimacy is fear of the truth. Your truth is better for you than someone else’s. Just get to know what it is, so you can finally own it, and speak it.

10. If your relationship is not getting better, it is probably getting worse. Life is dynamic and nothing ever stays the same.

11. Every relationship is unique. It takes what it takes to work. If you want it to work, you have to work it. No shortcuts. No 50/50 deals.

12. It is not your job to fix your mate, and it is not his or her job to fix you. Take this relationship and what your mate says at face value and stop reading into it what you would like to hear. We can work with what is real. It is impossible to deal with what is not real.

13. Unconditional love is an inside job. If you have not gotten it by now, guess what…start working from within. When you can give it to yourself, you will be ready to give it to someone else. If you can give it to someone else, you will recognize it when it is being given to you. Joy can only be experienced in the present moment.

14. If you both are committed to creating a functional relationship, agree to start doing it today, without any judgments about the past. Be willing to work in the solution and let go of your need to control the outcome, moment to moment, one day at a time

15. Most of our fears about what may happen in this relationship are really fears we experienced in past relationships, and have nothing to do with this person. Come to grips with what’s real and what’s Memorex! .

16. When in an argument, ask yourself Does this really PASS THE SO WHAT TEST? For you to be right does the other person have to be wrong? Think about it. Life is short. Do not waste it on arguments that have no meaning or purpose. You can always agree to disagree if you need to. Then laugh about it, and go on to the next thing. Start observing your need to argue as just another dysfunctional, immature habit that needs to be broken.

17. When we finally learn to say we are sorry (at 3 or 93), we get to finally hear we are O.K. To error is human, and there is great virtue in all forgiveness, ourselves included. The best way to teach our children this lesson is by watching us demonstrate it.

18. Any negative, hurtful or sarcastic remark is abusive. Like a sharp knife, each word will carve out a chunk of a loving relationship that can never grow back. Please consider the source and outcome of your remarks; before you open you mouth to tell your truth.

19. Never let a day go by without saying and showing how much your relationship and partner mean to you. Never take a moment for granted. Express how grateful you are for your good fortune, however meek or humble it may be. Appreciation and gratefulness have magic in them. It seems the more we express them, the more reasons we are given to say thank you.

20. To have a functional relationship you have to be willing to risk loosing it everyday, by telling your truth. If you don’t feel free to tell your truth, start asking yourself why you think it’s so important to stay, and what else you are willing to lose besides your self-esteem. For starters, you can ask your mate to tell their truth, and be willing to accept it at face value, with no judgment. Now you both get to finally know if you each want a relationship based on what’s real for each of you.
…For optimum results, start doing this in the first five minutes of meeting anyone.


Know Your Horoscope (6th November)

If your Birthday is November 6 and your Zodiac Sign is Scorpio

Birthday Persona Profile
People born specifically on the 6th of November are envisaged to be charming, sociable and funny with the typical Scorpio easygoing yet intense nature. The ruling astrological planet for this particular day is Venus making you naturally rather fairminded and optimistic with a tendency to always look for the best within others. If you have this birthday your insightful helpful temperament is very giving but you can also be a bit of a perfectionist at times. Your serious, fairly self sufficient side has an ambitious determined streak and you will ordinarily possess great communication skills. You have a confident belief in your abilities as well as an infectious enthusiasm for life in addition to a predicted fondness of luxury and the comforts of home. Individuals with a November the sixth birthday are shrewd, honest and direct with an abundance of energy that is likely to flow in spurts. Your slightly cool controlled emotions may make you appear sometimes distant or a tad overly objective, critical or uncompromising.

Work and Finances
Careers that offer the opportunity for continual promotion are often particularly appealing choices to a person born on the sixth of November. You have a strong desire to climb to the top of your chosen profession and pay could be quite an important consideration in order to satisfy your longing for a comfortable secure lifestyle. Your self sufficiency and calm seriousness guide you to be capable of performing with proficiency in any working environment. Money is not usually a worry if you stick to your sensible attitude concerning financial matters. Having some savings put aside to be able to rely on in an emergency gives you an added sense of security.

Personal Relationships
For a Scorpio, the person born on the sixth day of November is typically someone with high expectations of a partner and so potentially a bit demanding emotionally. You seem to fall in and out of love quickly and your heart is easily broken but this rarely dampens your ardor for romance. A true romantic you make a wonderful Cupid for matching up friends but for yourself you search only for your destined soul mate. Expecting upmost honesty and loyalty from a relationship, a partner must connect with both your body and mind. Your flirtatious charisma and steamy red hot passion usually make sex imaginative and exciting. Affectionate with a warm approach your underlying sensitivity means you will form and maintain close family ties often learning much more about yourself when you become a parent. A solid home base together with a special someone is something that you tend to greatly value and nurture.

Predilections to aim to keep active and eat healthily can help maintain the usual good health experienced by those born on November 6th. This liveliness is unlikely to involve sports or fitness routines, it is more inclined to be connected to general daily activity. When it comes to food you can overeat sometimes, but you are usually willing to do additional exercise to compensate. These finely balanced commonsensical habits will assist you to stay fit and well. People born on this day should find that eating a high fiber diet, the avoidance of dehydration and adequate relaxation could greatly benefit healthiness and aid restful sleep.

Strengths and Weaknesses
Your main strengths of character are disclosed in your energetic intensity, cheery outlook and stimulating conversation. These positive qualities enhance your favorable viewing of events and conditions. Your fair directness and perception are extra fortes that allow you to see beyond the obvious and generally make sound decisions. The personality weaknesses for those born on November 6th may come to the surface frequently if you are feeling below par in any way or especially annoyed about something. In these circumstances your mood is unusually gloomy and your negative traits of tendencies to criticize or be stubbornly inflexible are activated.

Dreams and Goals
Being born on the 6th of November usually directs your main ambition to be the acquiring of personal happiness above anything else. A major goal is to strive to keep all your close relationships truthful and happy. In spite of this common aspiration your marriage and parenthood will have much more importance than other friendships. If you are feeling unfulfilled in any area of life then this is highly likely to feature in your dreams.

Birthday Luck and Significance
As you were born on the sixth day of the month your birth date is allocated the same value of a Root number of Six. This numerical reference to your birthday has the keyword ‘Social’ identifying your friendliness and sociability alongside your enjoyment of conversing. The 6th Major Arcana Tarot card symbolizing the Lovers is closely associated with your birthday. This probably highlights your obsession with achieving contentment in your private life. The lucky gemstone selected for November the sixth birthdays is Turquoise, to be worn for remaining focused and forward thinking and the possibility of gaining better control of your emotions.

Astrologically the planet Pluto is thought to be mainly accountable for the probabilities of all Scorpio personalities. The actual day you were born on, the sixth of November is governed by Venus’s astral influence accounting for your few differences from your zodiacal counterparts. Your composure, fairness and positivity accentuates your responsible helpfulness. Your sense of humor and communicative spirit let you express and share your unique zesty positivism. If you can conquer bad reactions to annoyances and tone down your touch of perfectionism you should be less likely to be prone to criticism. A concluding advising thought for people born on November the 6th is to contemplate restraining your energies and taking life a little slower every so often.

Know your Horoscope Daily(7th November)

If your Birthday is November 7 and your Zodiac Sign is Scorpio

Birthday Persona Profile
People born specifically on the 7th of November are predicted to be rather intelligent, calm and purposeful along with plenty of the usual Scorpio subtle persuasiveness. The ruling astrological planet for this particular day is Neptune making you destined to be highly intuitive and likely to possess an air of mystery and aloofness. If you have this birthday your very loving and compassionate nature has sensitive emotions and may occasionally crave time alone for quiet contemplation. You are naturally inquisitive with a desire to explore, analyze and learn everything around you. Pleasant, polite and alert you may be diplomatic in your approach yet you will ordinarily refuse to compromise on your personal principles, ideals or standards. Individuals with a November the seventh birthday are open and honest with a great imagination and lots of self discipline. You tend to welcome challenges of all kinds and have a special fondness for improving and perfecting things. Deeply thoughtful with a strong will you are extremely perceptive but sometimes also a bit blunt and critical without really realizing it.

Work and Finances
Jobs that present opportunities to help others are often particularly agreeable choices to a person born on the seventh of November. The intense sense of purpose, thoughtfulness and wonderful understanding listening skills typical of your temperament, make you an ideal employee in any sort of caring profession. Your analytic mind and principled perception guide you to be capable of occupations requiring a high degree of responsibility. You are not usually motivated by money but you will be especially adept at managing your finances confidently. Your disciplined disposition helps you be an excellent saver so it is rare for you to experience financial issues.

Personal Relationships
For a Scorpio, the person born on the seventh day of November is typically a real romantic who tends to take love relationships seriously. Fairly affectionate with a proneness to be a bit flirty you are also incredibly loyal and do not commit yourself to a long term union lightly. In spite of all this you can be a tad secretive and insecure regarding your true feelings as well as unforgiving of betrayal. Your slight emotional vulnerabilities can cause you to on occasion be a little moody, cool and detached so you need to trust a soul mate completely. You seem to prefer to be on your own instead of being with the wrong partner. If you find yourself with someone unsuitable your tendencies to criticize and be overly demanding emotionally. Your hot blooded sexuality and imaginative intensity directs you to be an exciting lover. Massage, talking about sex and adventurous foreplay all quickly ignite your burning passion.

The natural energy and positive attitude attributed
to those born on November 7th has immense benefits for their overall healthiness. Your stomach and reproductive organs could be weak spots for minor problems in your otherwise healthy constitution. You do not normally need extra encouragement to partake in exercise but it may be more important in later years as this is when you are most susceptible to weight gain. People born on this day are usually interested in trying new taste experiences so they should perhaps consider learning cookery in order to further expand their tastes in food. A sweet tooth means regular dental checks are also a good idea.

Strengths and Weaknesses
Your main strengths of character are displayed in your curious, adventuresome intelligence and persuasive manner. Along with your sharp intuition these particular fortes allow you to speedily grasp changing situations and get along well with almost everyone. Your fairness of judgment, openness and honesty are additional admirable qualities. When the perfectionist side of your individuality kicks in the personality weaknesses for those born on November 7th are exposed. If something is not to your liking you can become sulky and withdrawn in response. If somebody insults or offends you your mood lowers and you behave in a restless difficult way.

Dreams and Goals
Being born on the 7th of November means you are strongly inclined to be dedicated to achieving goals that do some good for others. This type of considerate mindset provides a heightened motivation to utilize your best talents towards worthwhile projects that can help make the world a better place. Family will be a priority and your main desired achievements often lie in the building of a stable home base. Dreams have the inclination to consist of enterprising concepts or sexy scenes.

Birthday Luck and Significance
As you were born on the seventh day of the month your birth date figure generates an equal Root number of Seven. This numerical reference to your birthday has the keyword ‘Mystery’ defining your mysterious aura, fervent curiosity and keen insight. In Tarot the 7th Major Arcana card depicting the Chariot is associated with your birthday. This identifies your well directed thoughts and actions in addition to your ability to use your intellect and heart to make decisions. The luckiest gemstone for November the seventh birthdays is imagined to be Jade, to be worn for the possibilities of combating fear and stress and attracting wealth and contentment.

The probabilities of all Scorpio personalities are deemed to be astrologically derived from the influence of the planet Pluto. The actual day you were born on, the seventh of November is governed by Neptune’s rule influencing the probability of a noticeable distinctness from other Scorpions. Your insightful politeness lets you offer tactful advice while your astute alertness and understanding gives you a very sympathetic ear. Your craving for occasional solitude should not be ignored as it helps you regularly recharge your batteries. A completing thought for people born on November the 7th is to beware of vegetating and always aim to keep your deepest wishes at the forefront of your mind.


The Christian world is about to commemorate the birth of Jesus Christ, our Lord, a celebration in which we all indulge every year. People celebrate this memorable day in various ways, depending upon their own concept of the significance of the day. We have to admit that even here in Christian America, many celebrate the day in a manner that is foreign and even contradictory to the spirit of Christmas. It is becoming increasingly horrifying to any person who does any thinking at all that we are commercializing and paganizing the great Holy Day and have changed it to a holiday. Read, if you will, the paper the “day after Christmas and discover the number of drunkards and those who were hailed to court because the occasion was to them a period for dissipation and indulgence.
I want us to meditate upon the Christmas spirit and the significance of the day. Were we to reflect seriously upon the underlying purpose of Christmas, we would be awed to know that it involves some tremendous facts of world shaking significance. Let us concern ourselves with the facts surrounding the birth of the Savior so that we might become more appreciative and reverent.
Reverting to the Bible to discover the basis for the proper approach to a right understanding of the day’s significance, we find this statement in St. Paul’s letter to the Galatians 4: 4-6 with which the Epistle for this day begins, “When the fullness of time was come, God sent forth His Son, made of a woman, made under the law, to redeem them that were under the law that we might receive the adoption of sons.”
When we analyze this statement, we discover that it sets forth three basic truths dealing with this most significant subject. Incarnation, Redemption, Adoption. Taking them in their respective order, we have first of all the birth of the Savior from the blessed Virgin Mary, which is called the “Incarnation”, that is, Jesus taking upon Him our form. This is one of the most staggering mysteries of all time—Jesus, the Son of God, assuming our form and our nature. “When the fullness of time was come, God sent His Son, make of a woman.” Is not that a pauser for all of us to reflect upon? Have you ever actually tried to think how great, deep, and immeasurable God’s love must have been, to consent to dwell in human flesh?
God, in time past, before the coming of Christ, revealed Himself to holy men by inspiring their thoughts to record something of this greatness. Righteousness, mercy, justice and redemption were some of the beautiful attributes of God. Some of the prophets had a foregleam of the birth of the Savior. Micah, the Prophet, predicted the place — Bethlehem. Isaiah predicted that a Virgin would be the recipient of the high honor, bearing this wonderful Child. Inspired men throughout history had foregleams of some great revelations of God relative to His advent to humanity in a way we would understand, a way which we could not misunderstand. So “when the fullness of time was come,” when God’s clock struck the hour, He reached down to man, by being born as the rest of us, having human nature and flesh. As St. John the Divine aptly put it, “And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us and we saw His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth.”
Looking back upon what transpired at Christ’s birth, how many of the people living then knew the great significance of the Babe’s birth? How many knew that history will be divided in two, changed from before Christ to after Christ? How many knew that millions of people around the world would chant music and sing joyous hymns to commemorate the great event?
Usually people don’t take stock in realizing the potentialities invested in a child. Whoever thought that the events transpiring on that “Holy Night” would be enshrined in music and art, and that millions of cards would be used by people as a means to wish one another a “Merry Christmas” on His birth and that ministers, the world over, would preach and reach the story of the Holy birth, and choirs would sing his praises?
What is the purpose of His coming into the world? Well, the purpose is two-fold: Redemption and Adoption. Christ’s coming into the world was not accidental but rather purposeful. To the Blessed Virgin Mary, the angel said. “Thou shalt call His name Jesus, for He shall save His people from their sins.” He Himself said of His own mission upon one occasion, “The Son of Man came to seek and to save that which was lost.” God’s redeeming love was at the very heart, and the main reason for His coming. “God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son for its redemption.” This is the reason we call the story of Christ’s life the gospel, that is, good news. God’s tenderest love revealed itself in such a marvelous way to save humanity. Before Christ’s coming to human life, the world of human beings knew God as a terrible Judge, One on the receiving end to be appeased with gifts, a just God, who would exact from men the very last debit owed Him. They had then some foregleams of Him as a Redeemer, one who would show pity on men, but never as a God whose love knew no limitations to redeem fallen humanity.
Then, there was another reason—Adoption, to adopt believers into the family of God, making them sons and daughters of His. All human beings who would be willing to appropriate and appreciate the gift of God, and by faith receive Him into their lives, would become, by virtue of that fact, members of God’s family, having special attachments and privileges, inducted into the society of the Blessed, belonging to one Eternal Father, becoming one with the Elder Brother, and one with all believers of all colors, races and nationalities the world over.
“To as many as received Him, to them gave He the power to become the sons of God,” was the way the Evangelist put it. As redeemed sons and daughters of God, who are empowered to live as becomes God’s children, may we seriously reflect upon God’s matchless gift to us, and be concerned to declare by our lives, no less than by our lips, the redeeming love of God to all men, of all colors and creeds. May this hour be one of new vision and dedication to a life of service and newness, of hope, faith and love.
Christmas is unique among all the holidays, holy days, and birthdays that we observe. The story of the first Christmas is so simple that a little three-year-old caught its spirit when she said, “I know what Baby Jesus wants for his birthday—a cradle.” In love, she wanted to give him what he did not have when he was born. Yet the Christmas story is so profound that it can be fully expressed only in the deep thoughts of the prologue of John’s Gospel.
The unique truth of Christmas is that the Word was made flesh and dwelt among us. The unique outcome was that this marked the beginning of a new creation, a possible rebirth of humanity. God, through His Son, entered into our human life that we, believing in Him, might receive power to become “sons of God.” The Baby who had no cradle but a manger became the one Lord and Savior of mankind! Christianity is not a creed to be recited but a new life to be lived in Christ.


Do you know that:
★ Ants never sleep!
★ When the moon is directly overhead, you will weigh slightly less.
★ Alexander Graham Bell, the inventor of the telephone, never called his wife or mother; because they were both deaf.
★ An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain.
★ “I Am” is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.
★ Babies are born without knee caps – actually, they’re made of cartilage
and the bone hardens, between the ages of 2-6 years.
★ Happy Birthday (the song) is copyrighted.
★ Butterflies taste with their feet.
★ A “jiffy”, is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.
★ It is impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
★ Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.
★ Minus 40° Celsius, is exactly the same as minus 40° Fahrenheit.
★ No word in the English language, rhymes with month – orange – silver -or- purple.
★ Shakespeare invented the words “assassination”and “bump”.
★ Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.
★ Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
★ The names of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with.
★ The sentence, “The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog”
uses every letter in the English language.
★ The shortest war in history was between Zanzibar and England in 1896. Zanzibar surrendered after 38 minutes.
★ The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
★ The word “lethologica” describes the state of not being able to remember the word you want.
★ Camels have three eyelids to protect themselves from the blowing desert sand.
★ TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters on only one row of the keyboard.
★ You can’t kill yourself by holding your breath.
★ Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks or it will digest itself.
★ The dot over the letter “i” is called a ‘Tittle’.


#1: Warn your girl child never to sit on anyone’s laps no matter the situation including uncles.
#2: Avoid getting dressed in front of your child once he/she is 2 years old. Learn to excuse yourself.
#3: If you have to hire a house-help, please kindly take them for HIV screening to determine their HIV status, properly interview them and make up your mind to treat them well.
#4: Never allow any adult refer to your new born as ‘my wife’ or ‘my husband’.
#5: Never tempt your husband with your younger sister. (Else he’d say its her’s and the devil’s fault)
#6: Avoid unnecessary familiarity and make sure you take care of your husband by yourself lest you lead him into temptation.
#7: Whenever your child goes out to play with friends make sure you look for a way to find out what kind of play they played together because young people now sexually abuse themselves.
#8: Never force your child to visit any adult he or she is not comfortable with and also be observant if your child becomes too fond of a particular adult.
#9: Once a very lively child suddenly becomes withdrawn you might need to patiently ask a lot of questions from your child. If you don’t teach your children
about sex, the society will teach them the wrong values.
#10: It is always advisable you go through any new Material like cartoons you just bought for them before they start seeing it themselves.
#11: Teach your 3 year old how to wash their private parts properly and warn them never to allow anyone touch those areas and that includes you (remember, charity begins at home and with you)
#12: Blacklist some materials you think could threaten the sanity of your child (that includes music, movies and musicians) and let them understand the value of standing out of the crowd.
#13: Once your child complains about a particular person, don’t keep quiet about it.
Take up the case and show them you can defend them always!


None of these will probably lead to  Add Media divorce or anything…but they may cause a need for a temporary space barrier to be put in place.
1. Flatulence.
And don’t even try to act like you don’t do it (*side eye*). And yes, it counts even if you try to sneak a quiet one in under the covers. We all know that if those covers lift in even the slightest manner…it’s a wrap for everyone involved. And yes, this sanction was at the top of all of their lists…
2. Taking care of feminine business.
Okay ladies so if you’ve been with your husband long enough, he can probably tell you exactly when that time of the month will happen for you. But just because he knows, doesn’t mean he really wants to know. You know? Try to keep it under wraps as much as possible. And he definitely doesn’t need to be a first hand witness to it. Please don’t subject him to that.
3. Using the bathroom.
Along those lines: does he really have to be present while you are taking care of any business in the lavatory? Okay sometimes it might be inevitable. But the less he has to partake in the festivities, the happier he’ll be.
4. Wearing a hair net/bonnet/scarf.
Whatever you want to call it, chances are, he doesn’t like seeing you wear it (and my personal please: please don’t wear it out in public). Obviously, we’ve gotta keep it looking fly so getting rid of it is probably not an option. Maybe every once in a while you can change out the satin bonnet with a satin pillow case so you can just be free.
5. Letting yourself go.
I’m sure we can all relate to being really comfortable with our spouses; so much so that we tend to neglect the attention and care we put into our overall appearances that we had before we got married. So yes, a good husband is going to love you no matter how much weight you gain, or how much your wardrobe now resembles that of his grandma. But he’s secretly wanting you to get your sexy back.
6. Burping
There are just some things that are okay when a guy does them, and just unacceptable when a lady does them. And this is one of those things.
7. Shaving.
Obviously our beaus know that there are certain areas we need to shave. But it doesn’t necessarily make it okay to subject them to watching. Then again, if you’re doing it unclad they may not care one way or another so…carry on!
8. Yawning…during s*x.
I know, I know. Sometimes we are just so exhausted. But don’t let them see that. If you can’t fight it off, then turn it into a scream, a howl or just bite into a pillow.